Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I Just Cursed at My Unborn Baby!

"Ow, you #@$&ing baby!" I just said, and was wracked with guilt for cursing at him. I feel so bad, but he is grinding into the lower left quadrant of my abdomen, and it hurts. It feels like he's trying to squeeze a leg through my ab muscles. He's getting bigger and stronger, so that's not so pleasant.

My tummy is not getting too much larger, but I think that's because he's lying sideways. And, my torso is a good inch or two longer than most people's, so baby's got a lot of room to spread out. I compared my torso to a friend's yesterday; I had a good 3-4 inches on her. When she was pregnant, her baby kept stepping on her spine- pressing with both feet, and pushing- and she was in a lot of pain. One of her friends passed out when her in utero baby kicked her in the heart. Did you hear me? The kid kicked her in the heart. And she passed out. So, I guess my ab discomfort ain't so bad.
Sorry, baby.

Oh- baby put on a good show for my last class of the day. I could feel him moving, so I sat down, made the kids look at my stomach, smoothed my shirt out, and leaned back, because he often moves when I'm lying/leaning back. The kids could see him move from across the room. Some were grossed out, and some were interested.

Either way, it's fun to play with the baby.

He's moving right now, and frankly, it's rather grotesque.


Daniel said...

did you just say the kid kicked its mom in the heart and made her pass out? Seriously? I see soooooo much therapy in that kids future if the mom likes giving guilt trips.

Dr Horder said...

My little one is transverse most of the time which is uncomfortable as she gets bigger. She is head down every now and then which REALLY hurts because she didn't give my body a chance to grow with her before she struck a new pose. They say getting on all fours helps the baby turn but that is not comfortable. I actually like when she is sideways because I am not as enormous as I should be for 33 weeks.

Watch out for heart kicks tho'. They sound bad.

Julie said...

Yikes! Between you and Lisa, I am not looking forward to pregnancy AT ALL....

Anonymous said...

When Baby Greek goddess was in my tummy, she kicked all the time. And she continues to kick. All the time.

In the end, however, the pain of it all is a distant memory and the wonder of having a child is a daily joy!


CGabriel said...

You did...what? You pulled a NYC cab driver on your beautiful child, currently on final approach to Redlien International? WHAT??

Ok Special K, although I'm a man and have never been pregnant - that I know of - I know what's happening here. He's testing you. It's all Testing and Measuring. He's breaking down your threshold for pain, NOW, so that he has a better understanding of your reactions when he does things that will send you to the brink of sanity.

And those things will come. And you will travel to sanity's edge. And you'll be glad you made the trip. :-)