Spoof Videos, Whales, America's Schools

My friend John

(Sis: "Have you ever met him?"
Me: "No."
Sis: "I think it's funny that you call him your friend."
Me: shrug shoulders- "Whatever!")

over at thebestwaytohaveagoodideaistohavelots posted a great video that I want to share. It's a spoof both on news shows and on people who are over-concerned about what schools are teaching:


Don't click here to read more. Click here to read full entry.

Fire Ants: Giving Regular Ants a Bad Name

"Sorry little ant," said me to the ant who froze as he saw me about to squish him on my kitchen floor, "but I just returned from fire ant territory. I have no mercy for you."

Before I went to Mississippi, the words "fire ants" conjured images of tiny red ants that you might run across in say, a crevice on one outside wall of your home. You know, somewhere you never go. El-wrongo.

The truth about fire ants: they are normal, small-ish ant size, and they are everywhere. Everywhere that there is grass-- in your yard, on the grass beside the road where you jog, in the graveyard-- you have ants. I think there is some poison you can put down, but that ain't good for kids and pets.

Fortunately, fire ants live in large mounds, so you can spot them. However, if you inadvertently step on one while wearing sandals, you are f#@%&! My nephew had 50 or so red pus-filled welts on his legs for a week after he stepped on an ant hill.

Ever since then, I'm on hyper alert in parks and yards. If grass is really really short, I'll walk on it in sandals, but I would NEVER walk in grass over 2 inches high in anything but sneakers, and even then, I would watch the ground constantly.

Taking a walk in the neighborhood? La la la, *GASP*- a 5 inch high mound that you know is filled with 1,000 biting ants! It's not like there's a specific danger ant area; it's everywhere.
Jogging in the park? *AUGH*!!! Leap sideways to avoid a food-wide ant estate.

That little quote in the intro? I actually said that out loud. Just me, home alone, talking to an ant. Click here to read full entry.

Harrison Ford, Nephews, Dreams

I just had the most insane dream. I was about to get in the car to go to work when Harrison Ford walked by. We chatted a bit, and I asked him if he was depressed, and he said, "All I can say is, bless any man who marries a younger woman." I was sitting on the ground, and he leaned down and kissed me three times on the lips, then walked away. I was a little taken aback, but I can roll with a lot of unexpected things. I considered calling after him, "Say hi to Calista!" but thought she might not know who I was, so I said, "I like those lips!" then got in my car.

Nephew 2: Jack, look. (Trying to put huge coin in his piggy bank.)
Nephew 1: I told you it was too big.
Nephew 2: See? It don't work.

Nephew 1, looking in pantry: No peanut butter crackers!?! Rrrrrrr! It can't be true.

I keep a journal, so if I have a dream I want to write in, I write my dream in it sideways. That way, the dream is in with the current entries, so when I go back and read, I can see what in my life inspired certain dreams. They often relate in interesting ways. I put them sideways so I can find them easily if I just want to go back and read my dreams. Click here to read full entry.

Why Do People Need Friends Other Than Me?

I'm in Mississippi, and right now my sister is talking on the phone to her friend Jenn and I'm feeling really annoyed that she has other people she's friends with other than me. I think it's because I live far away, so the thought that anyone else gets to be with her when I can't bothers me.
It's the same thing when my friend in Portland OR sends me her pics on flickr, and I see pictures of her friends over at her house. I think, I hate those people. I say to myself, KOR, that's not rational, I'm sure they're very nice, and she needs to have friends in her town.

Still.

My friend in Ohio (yet another friend living far away!) agreed, in college, that we should all move to the same town. The friends I have from college are so great, and it stinks that they are far away. I don't think it's too late to implement that plan. Click here to read full entry.

Stalking the Cast of Lost 3/20

On Tuesday, I start thinking about Thursday's upcoming Lost episode, and on Thursday, I start trolling Lost blogs. I found this among some cast interviews. It's a very funny interview- Dominic Monaghan poses as a German interview and fools his friend, and Lord of the Rings co-star, Elijah Woods.




I actually laughed out loud several times during this.
Click here to read full entry.

Trash Day: Antic. and Spying

6 am Thursday. There's a certain excitement in the air. My trash can is out front, and it's going to be picked up.

This is one of my favorite days of the week, which might sound odd. Part of the thrill is the happiness of knowing I'll have an empty trash can to put trash into, but part of it is the waiting. You might think I'm kidding when I say I run to the window when I hear the rumble of the truck. I crawl to the window and spy as the garbage men move like an efficient swat team, quickly drag my can over, lift it into the truck, shove it back into my driveway, leap on the truck, and speed away.

I'm not sure why this excites me. Maybe it's because we didn't have trash pick up where I grew up. I'm sure they had it available, but I don't remember any trash trucks in my neighborhood. I think we all just took our trash to the dump. It's a sort of small county (now it's growing because it's an hour south of DC) so the dump, along with the grocery store and post office, was one of the places you could feasibly bump into someone.

Since it's pitch dark at 6:15, I can't just look out the window; they'll see me. I have to be in a dark room, but near a window on the street side, so I'm sitting in my office, ready to switch off the light when I see them. I wanted to read and write in my sunroom (pitchblackroom) to watch the sunrise, but I had to come here for trash day. I can't have them know I'm watching them, although I did sit on my steps and wave one day. That was when I was on a detective mission for my city's new trash cans. You can read more about that on my other blog, Stamford Talk. The new trash cans were a big saga.

Hold on a sec. I think I hear something.

Click here to read full entry.

I Destroyed Fancy Pancakes, Now I Have to Fix It

Yeah. I wanted to switch this blog over to a different google account, and rather than researching if there was an easy way to do it, I took off all my old posts and pasted them into Word documents with the idea of just reposting them. I knew it would take a while, but part of me likes creating problems to fix, especially when the problem involves reorganizing papers. I also wanted to clean Fancy Pancakes up a little bit, because I want the site to be less about piddly day to day stuff and more essay-ish like my friend Christopher's blog.

Turns out I could have just switched the blog over by sharing admin privileges and then deleting the old account. That would have taken about 4 minutes. Instead, it will take me around 4 hours to repost it all. Oh- and I also need to redo the "add more" function, my profile, and my blogroll.

So. I need to get back to work. Click here to read full entry.