Ladies in Khakis: I've Had It!

As I've been borrowing people's maternity clothes, a fair number of khakis have come my way. I put on a pair and noted that I look like I'm manning a ride at an amusement park. (Emphasis on the verb "man.") Today at work, I was walking behind two coworkers wearing khakis. I knew then that I needed to make a public statement: khakis, I'm sorry, do not look good on anyone.

The khakis to the right look OK. But she's slim, these are more cream than khaki, and she's wearing yellow heels. That's called "stylish." Most people I catch wearing khakis don't have modelesque figures, and they are wearing true khaki-colored khakis. Khaki = ugly brown. The khakis are slightly baggy, making their figures look droopy. Those kinds of khakis are called "dumpy."

To all you readers who are wearing khakis, I need you to either
a) not care that you are wearing ugly pants, because you are married and OK with looking bad
or
b) take a good look at yourself in the mirror and ask if the pants are really the best for your figure. Pretty soon, you're going to be old, and your butt is not going to look as good as it does now. Do you really want to clothe your ass, in its last good ten years, in unstylish khakis from the GAP?

If you under age 23, and very slim, and wearing flip flops, you may wear khakis without question. If either of these is an issue for you, though, you need to consider the two options above. Chances are, you, like me, should not be wearing khakis, unless they cost $300 and are from say, Theory, or some other fancy designer most of us can't afford. If you are a khaki devotee, you should sincerely consider shelling out the cash.