Friday, February 27, 2009

I Enjoy Making Little Public Spectacles

Because sometimes I
a) can’t help it
b) can’t resist.

Can’t help it: Walking through grocery store last night, my right inner thigh tendon muscles were spasming/shooting pain. Me: “OW OW OW!” I hobbled toward the ice cream, having to pause a few times when the pain hit again. No one said anything to me. Later, in the cupcake store, when the spasm hit, a lady said, “Oh, when are you due?” She said her daughter came the day after she had pain in that area, so I continue to be hopeful this baby won’t be too late.

Can’t resist: Sometimes, if I’m tired, or wired, or just tightly wound, I cannot resist going a little over the edge. Example: At breastfeeding class Tuesday night, I was exhausted. I was also chatty, though, because I’m getting euphoric about this baby coming soon. I was bubbly with the lactation consultant, but when the other few ladies arrived, they were pretty quiet. I didn’t want to dominate the class, so I tried to tamp down my energy.
At one point, the lactation consultant (who I could already tell was one of those pushy people who are so much like me that I try to resist them but later we become best friends) asked the 4 of us ladies if we knew what we were having.
Me: “Yeah, a boy!”
Twin lady: “We’re going to wait.”
Lady in back: “We're waiting, too.”
Other lady nods: "Waiting."
Lactation consultant, smiling benevolently: “Oh, that’s great. That’s great. It really is one of the last big suprises in life.”
Me, voice quickly rising: “Why does everyone say that? It’s not one of the last surprises! I’m going to have all kinds of amazing surprises in my life!  I mean, it’s—“
Lactation consultant, trying to change subject because she clearly realizes I’m teetering on the edge: “Oh, yes, it’s really an individual choice. It’s nice to know what you’re having, too. So, what have you guys heard about breastfeeding?”

FIRST OF ALL, that was tactless of her! Don’t ask a question and only give a positive response to the people who say the answer YOU agree with. I have to tell you, I do NOT get good vibes OR hear good reports about the lactation consultants at the hospital. I have heard some VERY BAD first hand reports about how militant and rude they are. Therefore, I am prepared to TOTALLY FREAK OUT ON THEM in the hospital if they give me any crap.

SECOND OF ALL, people said to me from the very beginning of this pregnancy, “So, are you going to find out what you’re having?”
Me: “Yup!”
Nosy party: “Oh, don’t find out! It’s so much fun to wait! It’s one of life’s last big surprises!”
My response would usually be, “I’ll be surprised by a healthy baby. That’s good enough for me. And this is NOT the last surprise left in my life. If it is, that’s sad. I have all KINDS of amazing things that are going to happen to me.”
The nosy party would try to explain further why the surprise was so special, and I’d say, “I understand the excitement of a delivery surprise because I’ve seen it: my sister was surprised all 3 times. When her third baby was a girl, we screamed at the top of our lungs. But for me, I don’t feel the need to wait. I’m a logical person, and I don’t like waiting for things, so I’m going to find out. I feel no need to wait.”
Sometimes, they’d keep going, and I’d say, “I don’t relate to that reasoning. I just don’t think that way, and neither does my husband.”

It also comes down to the fact that I do not like people telling me what to do. If you tell me not to find out, I’m going to find out just to spite you.

And ANYWAY, I did not ASK if you thought I should find out. If I wanted your opinion about that, I’d ask. I didn’t ask; you just told me. Guess what? I really don’t care if you think I should find out if I’m carrying a boy or a girl.

Oh yes. I am a woman on the edge.

Related Post:
--Dec 29, 2008-- Fight or Flight: I'll Kill You, and Your Little Dog, Too


Dr Horder said...

You'll be telling these Milk Maids off a lot. Trust me.

anne said...

Eh. You can't win. We didn't find out the sex ahead of time, and people were judgy/impatient about that too.

The lactation consultants at Norwalk Hospital are amazing, lovely, helpful people. You can go to their new mom's groups on Fridays at noon and get advice from them (and the other moms), even if you didn't deliver there.

Julie said...

Maybe if you bitch out the lactation ladies, they will be better by the time I am there....go for it! And I fully support your decision to find out :)

Amy said...

This post has been on my mind (not constantly...too much going on...) and I finally figured out--it's not that it's the last great surprise because you're right, life has lots of surprises. It's that there's nothing like it. There's no screaming with El if we already know she's a girl. And that is my absolute favorite part of her birth story.

Fancy Pancakes said...

That's my favorite part, too. How often do you get to scream for joy at the top of your lungs?
I do feel sort of bad that we screamed at her though- do you think we scared her? Well, just getting her ready for life with brothers!
Hmmm.... maybe for my THIRD, I'll wait to find out the gender.