38 Weeks and Grumpy! Very Grumpy!

Pretty much because my body is hurting constantly, mostly my torso, mostly my lower back. It is kind of hard to concentrate on anything else. I watched like, 5 hours of TV yesterday (Real Housewives or Orange County, Desperate Housewives, 30 Rock, and Biggest Loser) because that's the best distractor to me. I have many other things I should be doing; I guess I'll try to focus on that today. But RRRRRR! I am grumpy! I woke up at 4:07 am to pee for the fourth time, and could not get back to sleep. I'm uncomfortable and I'm stressed.

I'm stressed about giving birth. I'm worried that I'm going to get to the hospital, and my labor is going to stall because I am stressed out and grossed out by the IV, and then they're going to want to give me Pitocin, and then it will hurt so bad that I need an epidural. Not the worst thing ever, but if I can avoid needles in my back and catheters in my urethra, that would be GRAND. I am also very grossed out by the idea of a catheter. My husband says all that matters is a healthy baby. Obviously that's the most important thing, but I'd also like to have a good birth. By good, I mean, smoothly progressing and not accompanied by all kinds of gross medical interventions. I know I need to relax to make that happen- so maybe I am preemptively freaking out now so I don't do it later.

Sigh. Whatever. What the freak ever. I'm going to go do a light workout with my pre-natal workout videos (Gabby Reece and yoga are both nice and easy) because I think that will make me feel better. Sometimes the gym gives me a real boost, but I'm too grumpy to concentrate on packing a gym bag and making sure I don't forget my bra and undies or something else important I need for work.

RRRRRRRRRRR! I AM GRUMPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope I can be more positive later. Maybe I'll treat myself to a bagel with veggie cream cheese or something, and maybe I'll lie down on my rug during my meeting time at work. I think the pregnant lady- due in 2 weeks- can SKIP A MEETING. Lying down will probably allow me to be more patient with my students later (LIKE AT 2PM WHEN THE AFTERNOON SUN IS STREAMING IN THROUGH MY TWO BROKEN BLINDS THAT HAVE BEEN BROKEN SINCE AUGUST AND I PUT IN A WORK ORDER AND STILL MY STUDENTS HAVE TO SIT IN THE SUN AND HAVE A HARD TIME FOCUSING. That makes me grumpy- when the sun is beating in through the floor to ceiling windows, and my students are hot and blinded by the sun, and I can't blame them for being unable to pay attention to my lessons. Oh, and when the lights in my classroom won't turn off. That makes me grumpy, too. Sun beating in, lights won't go off, how can I do lessons on the overhead? I can't. That's what happened yesterday.)

And maybe I'll schedule my prenatal massage for today rather than wait until Friday. Because clearly, I NEED TO RELAX.

OH, and I'm just saying, those blinds were not broken on my watch. Someone else was in my classroom last year. I would never allow a chaotic blind-breaking environment.