Montessori Tidbits

A Montessori lady spoke after our Stroller Strides class. A couple of things that she said that I liked:

Group toys by theme. Put the farm puzzle by the toy farm. The kid will internalize the logic.

Before age 6, a kid can't misbehave, because they don't have that logic. They can test you, but they are looking for limits. All we can do is control our reaction to their behavior. That's the adult's job. To be the steady leader and authority figure.
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Breastfeeding After Breast Surgery

I am reading the Breastfeeding After Breast Surgery page on the La Leche League website and I am beyond inspired by what some women have done to keep their baby at the breast.

I love the following lines from a woman's story who breastfed after breast reduction surgery with a nursing supplementer:

Rebecca showed me how to place the tube next to my nipple so Gabriela would receive the milk in the bottle while she was breastfeeding. That was definitely not the solution I was expecting. But my husband, Elbert, was enthusiastic and supportive of trying new things. He helped me believe it would work. He washed those bottles hundreds of times, often in the middle of the night, and thanks to his support, we kept going.

The last conversation was with a dancer friend of mine. I was in a theater with Gabriela, getting ready to feed her. My friend asked if I had switched Gabriela to the bottle. I answered, "No, we are still using the SNS." She said she couldn't believe I used the device in public. I replied, "I have no reason to change the way my child is fed in or outside my home. I have no reason to be ashamed of it."

Another woman found that although she couldn't exclusively breastfeed her first baby after breast reduction surgery, she could with her second, because her milk ducts had reconnected!

Alex was still intensely nursing at age two-and-a-half, when I became pregnant. I consulted many times via email with Diana West, author of Defining Your Own Success: Breastfeeding After Breast Reduction Surgery (Available from the LLLI Online Store), as well as other La Leche League Leaders. The hope among all of us was that having an enthusiastic nurser would have given my milk ducts an opportunity to recanalize, restoring their flow so that I might be able to exclusively breastfeed this new baby. I had no idea the body was even capable of such repair. I was skeptical, but thrilled.

Ben was welcomed into this world five months ago. He weighs 19 pounds. Amazingly, he has only had his mama's milk. His brother gave him the gift of recanalized milk ducts and Ben has given his mother the gift of above average weight gain, to reassure me during those times of doubting my body. Both of my babies have given me the gift of trusting my body to heal and to provide sustenance in more ways than I had ever imagined possible. There are truly blessings all around!

It is just incredible what the human body can do, and what a mother can do with education, support and determination.

For a little more clinical detail, you can see this article by Diana West, the author of Defining Your Own Success: Breastfeeding After Breast Reduction Surgery.

And on the Breastfeeding After Breast Surgerypage, there are stories of continuing to breastfeed after other types of breast surgeries as well. Click here to read full entry.

Cruise Ship Wreck

Me: "I still can't get over the sight of that cruise ship turned over on its side in the Mediterranean."

Sister: "I KNOW!!!"

Me: "I used to think the worst thing that could happen on a cruise ship was a norovirus, but now I know they can actually shipwreck!"

As husband is rolling his eyes, and actually his whole head backwards, my sister agrees, "I was thinking the exact same thing this morning! I was thinking, 'Geez, before I wasn't sure if I wanted to take a cruise because of norovirus, but now, they can actually turn over!"

Husband: "Is this how insanity starts?"

Sister: "It's genetics."

Husband: "Oh come on. When was the last time that happened? Oh that's right, it was the Titanic!"
Click here to read full entry.

My Favorite Wear Everywhere Pants

May I introduce you to the best 100 bucks I've ever spent?

It's my Lululemon Still Pant.

I'm wearing them right now, as I blog in bed, 10 days after having a baby. (149 lbs)
I wore them when I was 37 weeks pregnant, after swim class with the toddler. (162 lbs)
I wore them before I got pregnant, when I was thin. (132 lbs)

Six 6 pants that can still look good and fit if you gain 30 lbs?

I don't think I need to say much more.

Although, I'll just say, I wear them to bed, I wear them to work, I wear them out, I wear them around the house.

BEST

PANTS

EVER.

Coming in a close second is my Studio Pant II. I have them in black and dark grey- amazing for airplanes and other outings because you can hike up the ankles when you go to a disgusting, pee-covered floor bathroom.

A hundred bucks seems like a lot for pants until they become the only pants you ever wear. Then you wonder why you ever tried to make all those other pairs of pants work. Just go straight for the comfort and functionality, and don't worry if you only wear 3-4 pants total all week. Nobody notices. Click here to read full entry.

The Passion of US Weekly Readers

So, I read US Weekly online. Around a year ago, a month or two after Sandra Bullock's husband cheated on her, US Weekly broke the news that she'd adopted a baby. On the mobile site, the comments are posted right below, and these comments absolutely caught my eye. They were so humorously heartfelt that I had to cut and paste them. I'm finally getting around to blogging them, a year later, because I can't delete them without sharing them.

I Love Sandra Bullock! She is awesome and I feel so bad for the way her marriage turned out...what a lousey cheating bum Jesse is! God Bless her and that beautiful baby boy she adopted! She is an amazing and forgiving woman!
Posted by garfie6966 April 29, 2010, 2:23 am

Sandra is a class act and is very smart and knows what she should do...no matter who disagrees. I am so sorry her marriage turned out to be what it was and that the world is in her business. She is smart and will get through this and now has the cutest baby in the world. I couldn't be more happy for her and wish her all the best. She is beautiful inside and out and when she is ready, she will find love again. I am a fan and I wish you Sandra all you deserve....the best of everything! I feel for you and I wish he hadn't been such a fool and lose the best thing he ever had and ever will....what a fool. The best to you always Sandra!
Posted by triciarm34 April 29, 2010, 1:17 am

I wish Sandra the best of luck with her new baby. He doesn't deserve her. She is way too good for him.
Posted by **Snowbrat** April 29, 2010, 12:54 am

I Am So Happy For Her And Her Brand New Baby Boy ~ I Wish Them The Best! She Looks So Happy Holding Him!
Posted by ~tinkerbelle~29 April 28, 2010, 11:49 pm

At least she has enough respect for herself not to stay with her cheating husband, unlike that money hungry woman Tiger woods cheats on daily.
Posted by seriously April 28, 2010, 11:24 pm

I think Sandra is definatly an angel and she is ENTITLED to someone who will love and respect her.Jesse is not worthy of a woman of her stature.He is a poor excuse of a man that most likely didn't deserve to be graced with her love from the begining.She is strong and commendable for her decision to divorce him.I also think her baby boy is absolutely precious and was very fond ofthe fact that she adopted within the U.S. ,particuarly New Orleans,not many miles from my home on the Ms. Gulf Coast.Sandra ROCKS!!!
Posted by Tre's Mommy April 28, 2010, 11:02 pm

And these comments were just the tip of the iceberg. I'm sure there were a hundred more, all equally as passionate. I guess they do call her "America's Sweetheart," and that's why people were so utterly pissed. On the US Weekly site, commenters seem to take celeb's behavior very personally; it's worth taking a look if you have the time and want to smile at the oddness of our human nature in the internet age. Click here to read full entry.

Awkward Baby Carrying

Whenever I see photos of celebrities awkwardly carrying their babies, I wonder why they don't babywear. With all the paparazzi, it seems like it would be safer to have a hand or two free.


I mean, look how much more relaxed Orlando Bloom looks. Granted, his kid is younger and easier to wear, but Sandra's little boy is not even one yet, the perfect age to wear!

Click here to read full entry.

What’s the Problem with Toddler Nursing?

This weekend at music class, my toddler was not quite himself. He was probably tired. Right in the middle of music class, he requested to nurse, which he NEVER does. I tried to distract him but he insisted, so I left the circle and faced a corner and sat and nursed him. He looked very drowsy and nursed all throughout a song with chimes and into the next song with some jingle bells. I turned and leaned against the wall so I was more comfortable. Plus, I didn’t want to make it look like I felt I was doing something horrible that needed to be hidden from view! Eventually he was done nursing and wanted to join the song.

During the two closing songs he asked to nurse again, so I backed up out of the circle and leaned up against the wall to nurse my out-of-sorts kid. I felt a little self conscious because I’d never seen anyone breastfeed in the class before, plus there were several dads there, but hey, this is Fairfield County CT, land of overachievers, and nursing is an “in” thing to do. I have actually gotten the sense over the past year that in this health-conscious, even slightly crunchy community, nursing an older baby- and even a toddler- is something people admire.

At the end of the class, the teacher, who I love, came over and said, “I think it’s so great that you’re nursing him. It’s so good for them. They get everything they need.”
I said something awkward like, “Well, it’s just easy! Although today I’m not wearing my proper clothes for it.” (I’d had to struggle with my regular bra and two layers of shirts.)
“Oh, but you were discreet,” she said, which made me realize that I sounded apologetic, which I didn’t mean to do, but I did feel a little awkward about broaching the non-nursing precedent that had been set in my 9 months or so of attending these classes. I was so happy that she took the time to make sure I knew she approved of my actions; I needed that boost. In the past two days I’ve gotten a couple negative comments about nursing, and her approval has buoyed me when I felt down.
Click here to read full entry.

High Five! Fist Bump! Blow Me a Kiss!

"The glorious return of the high five" is a great little essay I found on the San Francisco Chronicle's parenting blog, The Poop.

Like the author, high fiving recently became a part of my life because other people started teaching my kid to do it. It seemed pretty cliche to me, but I figured, whatever. It was a standard daycare lesson, along with kiss-blowing, which seemed even dumber until my kid started doing it, and then IT WAS TOTALLY ADORABLE!!! My coworker's husband also taught my kid to fist bump, which always impresses strangers who want to high five and are instead met with a fist offered by my toddler.

(Recently, he learned "Cheers!")

Plus, the Poop post has a picture of Obama. If you read this blog regularly, you know how I feel about Obama.

One more thing about cute baby tricks: they win the goodwill of strangers on trains and airplanes, and you want that. You really do. Click here to read full entry.

Peekaru: Marie Claire Does Not Know Babywearing!

Marie Claire rated the Peekaru babywearing vest as one of their "41 Gifts We Don't Want" but I'd guess that writer hasn't ever worn a baby. I concede that I, despite being a babywearing fanatic, also thought the Peekaru was probably not that useful... until my sister got it for me last month and I was in its cozy heaven of cuteness!!!

If you've babyworn, you know how much easier it is to navigate a crowded place without a stroller. Packed tourist destinations, escalators, stairs, no problem. It's also safer to have them higher up. Last month I had the kid in the stroller in the city- and someone ASHED ON HIS HEAD!!! I promptly put him right into our ERGObaby carrier (which I never leave home without) and wore him for the rest of the night, navigating Times Square and Toys R Us without fear of some idiot dropping a cigarette on him or knocking him in the face with shopping bags.

My city-dwelling sister ordered me the Peekaru the next day, and I wore it the next time I went to see her in the city. We got stared at admiringly all day. I'm serious. No one could resist our adorableness.

Even without a Peekaru, babywearing in winter is awesome. With the kid against you, you don't have to worry about if he/she is warm or not. You just know, because they're the same temp you are, so you adjust your layers around the kid accordingly. This is me babywearing last year, before the Peekaru. I look like a hobo with a large sweatshirt closed over the kid, my winter maternity coat over that, and a scarf around my neck. (No offense, hobos.)

Now, instead of mismatched clothes, I'm the epitome of chic.

Just before this photo was taken, a man said, "That's a beautiful baby!" Do you think he would have even noticed my kid if he was in a stroller? No! See how the Peekaru brings out the beauty in life?

Here's another pre-Peekaru photo, from the day he got ashed on. That was pre-Peekaru. (I cropped out my husband since he's a little antisocial.) You can see how the bulky winter coat gets all up in the kid's face.

The one downside of the Peekaru is that if the kid wants to get down, you have to unzip the Peekaru, but that's no biggie.





When it's really, really cold, you have to protect your baby. The Peekaru is one good option. The other option is to put them in a stroller bundle thingy, a winter jacket, then cover them in plastic (see photo to left), but then you really don't know if they are too hot or still cold. On this day, probably almost a year ago, my hips were bothering me, so I shrink wrapped him in the stroller. You can see how silly the kid looks, and that's why I wear him if I can. Instead of closing them up like a package, why not snuggle them close? They're only wearable for so long, so I get my cuddles whenever I can.

Don't even get me started on how handy it is to babywear in an airport, and while hauling all of your crap onto an airplane. Click here to read full entry.

Cliche: Parenting Changes You

I found it so annoying when people would say, when I was pregnant, "Having a kid changes your whole life." I smiled politely while thinking, DUH!!!! Of course having a kid changes your whole life. I know that. I'm ready for that. You telling me that is insulting to my intelligence.

As I've been a parent over the past 20 months, this little statement has come true in ways I could have easily predicted- you have stronger emotions, less time for yourself, completely different priorities for spending money and time, and new skills relating to patience and empathy. (Hiking in the woods in the photo to the right? Something I did only because I feel like my kid needs to see more nature.)

It's the empathy thing that's interesting to me, because I didn't think people meant that- I didn't think they meant that being a parent changes how you view every other person you come into contact with.

That 20-something lady I stop my car for at the crosswalk at the busiest shopping center in town? Someone's baby.
That 50 something guy driving like an absolute idiot in the same parking lot? Someone's baby!
My student who is being absolutely stubborn about filling out the graphic organizer, who I'm getting really frustrated with because I don't have time to repeat it for the third time? Someone's baby.

That's a lot of pressure! To have to treat other people like they are a former baby? To give them the same respect you hope a stranger or teacher will give YOUR baby, whether they're 11 or 25 or 50? That's a lot of responsibility, but I'm happy to have a refreshed awareness of others. It's easy to be self-centered when you're busy and stressed out about your own life, but awareness of others can give badly needed perspective. That perspective can help you be kind to others when you'd otherwise be impatient.

Of course you can have that patience and perspective if you're NOT a parent- you can try to treat others like you wish your siblings or parents would be treated- but I find the extreme attachment and protectiveness I feel for my own kid is a more powerful motivator. It's so obvious to me how helpless he is, and that makes it easy for me to see how helpless even teenagers and adults are.

It can be a bit depressing to see how some people's babies turn out. I don't mean that in a mean way. I just mean, some of these former babies have difficult lives, and I know their parents probably hoped for something different for them.

Anyway, the cliche came true. Parenting has changed my whole life. Although I'm the same person, I spend my time really differently and I see things in my daily life differently. I do not say, though, to people who are about to have children, "Being a parent changes your whole life!" I get that out of my system by blogging. More people should blog. That way, I won't have to listen to them tell me things I already know, or will discover on my own soon enough even if they DIDN'T tell me about it.
Click here to read full entry.