Peekaru: Marie Claire Does Not Know Babywearing!

Marie Claire rated the Peekaru babywearing vest as one of their "41 Gifts We Don't Want" but I'd guess that writer hasn't ever worn a baby. I concede that I, despite being a babywearing fanatic, also thought the Peekaru was probably not that useful... until my sister got it for me last month and I was in its cozy heaven of cuteness!!!

If you've babyworn, you know how much easier it is to navigate a crowded place without a stroller. Packed tourist destinations, escalators, stairs, no problem. It's also safer to have them higher up. Last month I had the kid in the stroller in the city- and someone ASHED ON HIS HEAD!!! I promptly put him right into our ERGObaby carrier (which I never leave home without) and wore him for the rest of the night, navigating Times Square and Toys R Us without fear of some idiot dropping a cigarette on him or knocking him in the face with shopping bags.

My city-dwelling sister ordered me the Peekaru the next day, and I wore it the next time I went to see her in the city. We got stared at admiringly all day. I'm serious. No one could resist our adorableness.

Even without a Peekaru, babywearing in winter is awesome. With the kid against you, you don't have to worry about if he/she is warm or not. You just know, because they're the same temp you are, so you adjust your layers around the kid accordingly. This is me babywearing last year, before the Peekaru. I look like a hobo with a large sweatshirt closed over the kid, my winter maternity coat over that, and a scarf around my neck. (No offense, hobos.)

Now, instead of mismatched clothes, I'm the epitome of chic.

Just before this photo was taken, a man said, "That's a beautiful baby!" Do you think he would have even noticed my kid if he was in a stroller? No! See how the Peekaru brings out the beauty in life?

Here's another pre-Peekaru photo, from the day he got ashed on. That was pre-Peekaru. (I cropped out my husband since he's a little antisocial.) You can see how the bulky winter coat gets all up in the kid's face.

The one downside of the Peekaru is that if the kid wants to get down, you have to unzip the Peekaru, but that's no biggie.





When it's really, really cold, you have to protect your baby. The Peekaru is one good option. The other option is to put them in a stroller bundle thingy, a winter jacket, then cover them in plastic (see photo to left), but then you really don't know if they are too hot or still cold. On this day, probably almost a year ago, my hips were bothering me, so I shrink wrapped him in the stroller. You can see how silly the kid looks, and that's why I wear him if I can. Instead of closing them up like a package, why not snuggle them close? They're only wearable for so long, so I get my cuddles whenever I can.

Don't even get me started on how handy it is to babywear in an airport, and while hauling all of your crap onto an airplane. Click here to read full entry.

Montessori Blog

I just discovered a great blog: MariaMontessori.com.

I have been interested in Montessori ever since my friend Laura sent me the Michael Olaf Montessori materials catalogue, which you can easily view online (I'll post link later-Q sleeping on me right now- see photo).

So much of the Montessori ideas make sense: a floor bed, a low shelf for toys, teaching life skills, letting kids choose what to learn, etc. The blog I just found via Mighty Marce is a quick way to learn about some Montessori ideas.

Try as I might to incorporate Montessori ideas into my public school classroom, it's really hard without spending a ton of time thinking about how. Actually, it's pretty Montessori of me to let my students choose their writing topics, and choose their own books, but... much of what I do is NOT Montessori. It's going to take time to research, and I just do not have tons of time for that while working and having a toddler.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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Baby Gear: White Noise Machine

I'm kicking myself for not getting this handy device earlier. I live in a house with very squeaky, cracky wooden floors. After I put baby in his crib and try to walk quietly away, I cannot even tell you how loud the floor is, even under the carpet we put down. I finally shelled out fifty bucks for a simple but effective white noise machine and boy, do I love it. I really think it helps the baby sleep better. (Well, he's now a toddler since he can RUN.) This is one thing that falls into the "must have for new parents" category.

I first encountered this white noise machine on a trip to Virginia with my whole family when baby Q was 3 months old. My sister brought the white noise machine with her from Mississippi so her kids could sleep through the noise out in the kitchen/living room of our rented cottage. I know there are many types of white noise machines, but I like that this one is mechanical rather than electronic. It sucks the air in rather than being a recording of white noise, and you can adjust the tone to be sharper or more dull.

The other good thing about this simple machine is that it has so few buttons that it does not really attract the baby's attention, so I can leave it on the floor of his room without him messing with it too much. And even if he does mess with it, there is not that much he can do to it, except make it a little louder or give it a little higher or lower tone. Click here to read full entry.

Latest Obsession:Babyhawk Mei Tai

Me n the kids at an indoor winter farmer's market

I finally, after several weeks of poring over the Babyhawk site and its hundreds of choices of strap/body panel color and pattern combos, chose my combo. I thought I was going to get espresso straps, because i love my brown ERGO. However, a Twitter friend showed me her grey-strapped Babyhawk and swayed me. I showed the hubs a couple of options for the body panel fabric, and he liked a grey/white/yellow combo, so I took the plunge and ordered.

This mei tai is going to help me have a more comfortable back carry option, because the baby is too heavy now for more than 30 minutes of front carry. I tried on the mei tai at Mini Metros natural parenting store in NYC and they showed me how to get him nice and high up so he can see over my shoulder.

Update 7/1/14: 

The Babyhawk mei tai didn't work out for back carrying the boy. He was too heavy- the straps totally dug into me.  I put the mei tai away... and got it out to try after the second baby was born... I LOVED it from the very first week. I wore her froggy style until 6 weeks or so, when she was big enough to let her legs dangle.  

I could be totally hands free- wearing the baby and still able to fully attend to the 3 year old on the playground.  Nice high back, easy to put on... I liked it so much better than the Moby wrap I had when Q was little!  

For backwearing toddlers, I've learned I prefer the Boba carrier to the ERGO.   Click here to read full entry.

Chime In: Baby Registries, the Right Stuff

Friends of ours are due with a baby in five weeks. Last night I was pondering what to get them off their registry.

This morning I was sitting in my baby's room with him after he woke up, remembering the time in which I was planning for him. That room smelled different, felt different, meant something different.

I remember the feeling of trying to make sure I had all the right stuff. Turns out you don't need that much stuff- actually, I have loved my stuff, it's just hard to know what the best stuff is going to be for your baby or your lifestyle. I'll clarify: I love stuff. Lately, I love our Phil and Ted's metoo chair because we go out to eat a lot. I'm also on the hunt for a mei tai, because although the ERGO baby carrier has been one of our very best purchases, I don't like the ERGO for back carry, and he's getting too heavy to wear on my front.

Anyway. That was such a fun time in life, getting ready for the baby. It's weird that I'll never feel that feeling again. Even if I have another baby, that preparation time will never quite feel the same. That's not necessarily a bad thing. If second babies felt that momentous, adding a second one might feel overwhelming! Fortunately after the first one gets to be oh, 7 months or so, ya feel like a pro.

It is so fun to look at other people's registries. It's a window onto their life, or planned life. You can see if it looks they are planning to breastfeed. You can see if they chose a superfancy stroller or a practical one. You can see what some of their ideas and plans are by what books they ask for. You can see that they know about swaddling, and you're happy about that. When looking at someone else's registry, you can't help but think, "I remember I thought I needed that!" or "Dear God, why haven't they registered for an ERGO?" Seeing some of the items brings you back to a time when you also had no idea what to expect.

I'm glad I enjoyed that time in my life. I really immersed myself in that time- researching online, talking to friends, going to baby stores, reading baby blogs... it was awesome. I had such a blast getting ready for my baby. My BFF and I picked out paint colors and painted the nursery walls with the help of another friend and my husband (I supervised). I found a cool print on eBay and got it professionally framed.

What's awesome is that our baby far exceeded my expectations of what my baby was going to be like! He was easier, more fun, and cuter. Some of the stuff really came in handy- the towels, the butt cream, the thermometers, the blankets, the clothes, the toys, the swaddles- but the focus very quickly goes off the stuff and onto the baby, who mostly just needs to be fed, clothed, and kept warm those first few weeks- oh- and safely carried around to all those doctor appointments.

I guess the stuff is how we make ourselves feel ready for the baby. I don't mean that in a judgy way. It's fun to spend the last few weeks getting ready. But sometimes baby gear feels like an arsenal against THE BABY- a disruptive creature who you have to use tools to contain. I think I'm going to view my stuff a little differently next time- more as a way to have fun with my baby rather than as methods to deal with a mysterious, difficult creature.

Although maybe it went so well with him because I had all the right stuff because I researched so much? Who knows. Maybe I was, am, and always will be clueless, playing it all by ear. Maybe I know nothing. It's possible! What I do know is that every baby is different, every parent different, every life different, so people will always need or want different things for their babies. Before you are a parent yourself, and the parent of your particular baby, you can never know what you'll need. Once you are a parent, you realize how much is out of your control. It's so much easier once you accept that and just go with the flow. At least that's my philosophy. I'm not sure how else a working parent could survive.

Note: I'm not bashing my friends' registry- theirs is quite sensible and actually makes them look like they know what they are doing. And my girlfriend who just had a baby a month ago- well, her registry had all the cool gear that it took me months to realize I wanted. She was smart enough to put the metoo chair and the ERGO on her registry, whereas I bought mine myself! Click here to read full entry.

Baby Swing: Mother's Helper or Separation Tool?

I'm not against using baby swings and seats, but I just saw a full-page Fisher-Price ad in Parenting Mag that made me think, "Wow, there are really a lot of tools to separate us from our babies."

Swing and exersaucer-using parents, I'm not criticizing the use of those tools- I used them too. But the ad in the magazine shows a montage in which a baby is never held by his parents. In the first shot, the baby is in a bassinet by his mom (God forbid the baby actually touch you while he sleeps). In the second shot, the parents are feeding the baby while he sits in a high chair (sometimes my baby likes to eat while sitting on my lap). In the next shot, the Dad is showing the baby toys hanging on the exersaucer the baby's sitting in (maybe the baby would like a little break from fabric pressing on her crotch). In the final shot, the mom and her friend are smiling and leaning over the baby, who's sitting in a gigantic swing (I thought people LIKED to hold babies).

I understand that this is an ad for those products, not a "how to parent" montage, but I think these images influence people's view of what's normal. I guess that's why FP puts these ads in... so first time parents think, "Oh cool, this is what I need to handle my baby. The baby is sure going to love sitting in this." Maybe some babies do. Mine never really did, although the exersaucer often got me 10 minutes of blogging time. Believe me, I am NOT saying parents should not take time for themselves. When the kid can't sit up to play on his or her own, these tools can be pretty damn handy.

Also, some people NEED these tools to contain their babies in a safe place while they care for other children or accomplish a task around the house. I'm not judging people who use swings and exersaucers and bassinets- we used them too.

But I also see in these ads a fear- a fear about a baby growing too used to your touch. And a feeling that is inconvenient to hold your baby with your own arms. Sure, sometimes it is. But they are only little for such a short time.

Also, that's why babywearing can be so nice- your hands are free, but your baby (or toddler) is snuggled right next to you. Rather than put Q in the exersaucer, I'd often wear him while I did laundry or put dishes away. It's not always the easiest on your back, so I'm not going to tell other parents to babywear if they don't want to. I do think parents should do what works for them, and if it's to put the kid in the swing, go for it.

However, this ad made me think about how a baby can be viewed as a threat- but if he can be contained, you can go about your orderly, adult-oriented life. I think that as a parent who wants to feel connected to their baby, you have to be aware of the subtle messages these ads send. It's one of the many reasons I do not love parenting magazines, and would rather read parenting blogs and websites, such as Phd in Parenting, Hobo Mama, and Amber Strocel's blog.

Taking care of a baby by yourself all day can be exhausting. Often these tools give a mother a much-needed break. Many of the new mothers I know, including me, do NOT have family in the area, so don't have a mother or mother-in-law nearby who could come and give her an hour break- much less a 20 minute break! A swing had to do that, and I think that is fine. I was just struck by the Fisher-Price ad, where people who clearly had free time, and free hands, were standing beside a baby in a piece of plastic. Click here to read full entry.

Latest Obsession: Babywearing Poncho

I've been babywearing since Q was born. It's just a practical way to:
1. Take him grocery shopping while keeping him right next to me so nosy people don't get to close to him and expose him to their germs
2. Have hands free while still carrying him (and his baby-related crap).
3. Get chores done around house if he's crabby and/or wants to sleep.
I do not know how people DON'T babywear.

Anyway, winter is coming, so it's getting a little trickier. There is quite a bit of body heat between mom and baby, so even on our chilly Oct/Nov days, I can just wear a long sleeve shirt, put Q in socks and a hat, and feel confident that we're both going to be warm enough. However, it's getting colder.

Someone at a mom's group had mentioned a sweater you can wear over both you and the baby. I can't find that, but I did find a cool poncho that covers you and the baby, just exposing your heads. I must have this. Winter SUCKS, and one way of dealing with it is having the proper clothing; that's probably the biggest lesson I've learned up here in CT.

I still wear Q on my front, because he's little enough not to kill my back. I like having him where I can see him.

There's also this $300 dollar Psny Babywearing Down Coat, but I'm not a NYC mom who walks everywhere, so I don't think I need something that hardcore! Click here to read full entry.

Must Have Newborn Supplies

Oh my goodness. I can't believe that I just figured out today how to type with 2 hands while breastfeeding. This should change my world. I breastfeed 5-6 hours a day, and I have not been able to use any of that time for blogging, which has been frustrating. I have a need to put my thoughts into words to stay sane. The lactation consultants tell me it's fine how much the baby's eating, that he's adjusting my milk supply to his ravenous growth needs. He was already back up to his birth weight at 10 days, so he's hitting his goals. Good job, Baby Q!

Life with Q is made easier by some kickass products that we love:

The Brest Friend. If you are breastfeeding and don't own this pillow, your life will suck. The Brest Friend snaps around your waist, providing a stable platform for baby to rest on while he's on your boob. Right now, Q is eating, and I'm leaning forward over him and typing. The Brest Friend makes this possible. Don't even think about getting a Boppy for breastfeeding, or you'll never get any blogging done! My laptop is resting on a TV tray. Here's a pic, taken from above, of Q conked out on the Brest Friend, loosely wrapped in his SwaddleMe.

iPhone Breastfeeding Application. Keep track of what side baby nursed on last and for how long. When your husband says, "What did you do today?" you can say, "I breastfed for 4 and a half hours." At first I kept track of this on paper, and it was ridiculous.  Who can find a pen while breastfeeding at 3 am?  It's so much easier to keep track on your phone.  

Swaddle Me. I'm sure there are other sleep sacks that work, but a friend loaned us her 2 SwaddleMes and we love them. The SwaddleMe is made of light cotton, so baby won't get too warm. We usually wrap another blanket over him to make sure he's warm enough, but the SwaddleMe is a great base layer that keeps baby's arms in so he won't startle himself awake.  (There's a microfleece version for winter, too.)  One great thing about the SwaddleMe is that you can unhook the bottom for a quick diaper change or diaper check in the middle of the night, and then you can breastfeed the baby right in the SwaddleMe. I don't do that too often, only when I'm desperate to make sure he stays asleep after he falls asleep on my boob. I like to let his little arms free. I just ordered two more SwaddleMes, so now I have four, since the kid seems to wet them every day. Damn diapers!!! (Or, damn bad diaperer- me.)

Medela Tender Care Lanolin. This feels so good when you're breastfeeding the first week and sore. I know everyone uses the Lansinoh in the purple tube, but the Lanolin goes on more easily because it's thinner. (Note, 1/5/13: If you have any soreness, find a good lactation consultant (or LLL leader) right away.  My soreness was due to the fact that I was not latching my baby properly.  An LC spotted my mistake right away and after I changed the latch, I had no more soreness or bruising.  If I'd know soreness was not normal, I wouldn't have needed the lanolin- I would have asked for help with solving the soreness sooner.)

Ocean Waves Soundtrack (on repeat). We use this to signal the baby it's night time, but in actuality, I think it helps me sleep, not the baby. I have the baby in a little bassinet by my bed. With the Ocean Waves track playing on the Bose speakers, and with my earplugs in, I can have the baby near me but not hear all of his teeny noises- just the larger ones that usually indicate he wants to eat or has a wet diaper. It is really, really important to sleep, so don't feel guilty about using earplugs. Better that than lose your patience and your mind because of sleep deprivation!

Gerber Thermal Blankets. I made a mistake and got the flannel ones, which are stiff, and when you wash them, lint gets all over your dark clothing. Get the THERMAL, also known as waffle weave. I love these blankies. They are soft and large enough for a swaddle. They're great for covering baby while he nurses in only his diaper, so you can get skin to skin contact while keeping him warm. They're only ten bucks for two, and if you want to splurge, get the organic cream colored one for ten bucks (in photo).

Books:
Nursing Mother's Companion. Best organized and easiest to read. Basic, informative, reassuring.

Heading Home with Your Newborn. Well-organized, with a practical, relaxed tone- by 2 pediatricians/moms.

I'm sure there are other great products, so if you want to leave a comment about your favorites, please do so!

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