Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Quick Opinions on Parenting

(Because I'll NEVER get the time to write whole posts on the following topics.)

-- I like having pediatricians who don't tell me how and when to feed my baby and where he should sleep. If I want to nurse him at night I will. BUTT OUT.

Some old-fashioned peds are really weird about breastfeeding. They ask me how often I feed him a day, and I've realized that they think "Oh, I don't know, whenever," sounds weird. (Why must I count? Who cares? If he acts hungry, I feed him.) So, now I just say a number that sounds small but often. Today I said, "Five." Last month I said, "Like, six or seven." Because that's what one of them suggested the month before that when I said I didn't really know.

--You never know how you're going to feel about things until you are actually a parent. It's a whole new world. For ex, I never knew I'd feel so strongly about breastfeeding. I also didn't know I'd feel ok about going back to work when the baby was ten months, but being broke is a great motivator. Although, if I think back, that may have been part of my reasoning- the longer I waited, the more the need to work would be clear. I also never knew how having a kid would change my focus- ok maybe I did know, but I couldn't know what a radical shift it would be. I mean, I'm COOKING- and I hate cooking. Now that's radical.

--I should start carrying my laptop with me in the car, because that thought above seemed WAY deeper 6 hours ago.

--It's harder to go all out for Christmas when you have a kid to drag around. I commend people who can still pull it all together. It's not worth it for me to drag the baby out in the cold, so some people might get late or crappy gifts. I think they will understand.

--I'm having a lot of fun following breastfeeding Canadians on Twitter and really hard core Attachment Parents, too. I would not ever label myself an "Attachment Parent," even though I'm a member of the local Attachment Parenting group, because I don't want to feel pressured to meet a checklist. Like, I don't cloth diaper or do elimination communication, but I do breastfeed and cosleep when I feel like it, and I do listen to baby's cry as a signal. Part of me would like to live that hardcore lifestyle, but I do not have the energy, nor does my husband incline toward the crunchy. Oh, also, babywearing is one of the tenets of AP. I adore babywearing.

--It was so fun seeing my friend today, one of my BFFs from college. She's back on the east coast from Oregon, and it was great to spend time with her and her kids and husband and her parents and siblings who I've known for almost fourteen years now. After she put her 11 mo old to bed, she gave me a haircut. She finished, and it looked ok, but she seemed worried about the back. I told her it was fine, that I really needed to get going, and she nervously agreed. I sat down to breastfeed, and she rushed over and said, "I'm just going to trim the back while you're sitting." She snipped frantically for a minute or so, then said, "Well, if I ruined it, you'll just have to go get that professional cut that you wanted." I laughed so hard that I wept, mostly because it was great to remember that my calm, caring, nurturing friend, a doctor by profession, is also a TOTAL SPAZ.

The wash and cut felt great, and I totally made her little sister wear my baby in the ERGO during the cut. And her brother, also in his early twenties, carried the baby around awhile too. It was so nice to have the extra, willing hands. And then the baby slept the whole hour long trafficky ride home. It was a perfect day after a night of horrible sleep.

--Oh- and it was so good to spend time with another mother- and father- and it was great to see them interact and see my friends as parents. They met in college, so I've also known him for a good 13 years.

--I'll post pics from the day later, because I got some cute ones, I think.


Jen said...

So this mythical Pediatrician who knows about BFeeding AND knows when to butt out exists!? Do tell!

KOR said...

Hi Jen, just saw this comment of yours! (Blog is new, so hadn't set it up to have comments emailed to me- dur.)

We're at New England Pediatrics now. There are 5 docs there. One of the older docs constantly tells me to put baby in his own crib (I ignore, since I didn't ask), but the two younger guys are better about staying out of my beeswax and just giving me medical advice. They each have a kid under age 2, so they don't seem to think I am a clueless schmuck who needs parenting advice. :)

It can be annoying to have three different docs see your baby's ears on a different visit (so less understanding of what fluid in his ears is up to) but I like having access to different opinions. I do have one favorite doc there so I am pleased to at least have one doc who I feel glad to see and who does not make me feel like a sucky parent every time I go in!